Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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