arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
