i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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