Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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