ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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