i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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