Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
