So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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