dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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