I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
