Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
