Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
