don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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