we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
