Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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