6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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