Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
