We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
