I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
