Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
