i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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