It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
