So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
