Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
