you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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