i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I believe in your delicious
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
