bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
