If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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