I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
