all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
