i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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