I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she looked like the before picture.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
