I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
