you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
