Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
