this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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