i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
