i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
