how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
