I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
