I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
