hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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