I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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