I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
