her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
