Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
