she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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