I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
