No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
