So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
