There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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