singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
